My world has fallen apart

My world has fallen apart. My husband died in a car accident and I wonder how I will get through the days ahead. My heart is breaking and the pain is so real. We were married 55 years. He was with me since I was a young girl. We always did everything together, including going to church but I don’t want to go anywhere. Please help me. Do people really heal from such a tragedy?

First let me say how sorry I am for your loss. Your pain is very real and you will need to take the time to understand that grief is a process and not an event. I believe that you can heal as you work through the grieving process and allow yourself to grieve and mourn. You must fully experience your grief if you are to fully heal. Seek help from a friend. Choose someone who will be nonjudgmental, who will listen and not try to “fix “you. Consult with others who can help you know how to care for yourself. Bereaved people sometimes need quiet and don’t want to be with other people. This is normal. Going to the places that your loved one went with you is very hard to do so we begin to make excuses to stay home. You have that choice and sometimes that is a good choice. But when you begin to isolate yourself from everyone all the time, it does not promote healing. You need people to support you. If it is uncomfortable to attend the same church, go to another one for a while. Those who understand grief will understand that you might need to do this. Join a bereavement support group or a spouse loss group where you will meet people who are struggling with many of the same issues you have. Meeting together and sharing each other’s burdens can bring healing.

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