It is hard to laugh anymore

It is hard to laugh anymore because there have been so many losses in my life. I feel so guilty when I laugh. Have you had others share that with you? 

It is hard to laugh when you have had a loss, especially when there have been several losses in your life. Many people feel guilty especially when they laugh for the first time. Laughter is one of the most healing activities that you can do for yourself. Often I have to encourage those who find it difficult to laugh to go rent a funny video, read a book that is funny, spend time with people who make you laugh. I often suggest to people to look at an “I Love Lucy” TV series. You are not being disloyal to the one you loved by finding laughter again. In being able to laugh again, you honor their relationship.

Since I am Chronically Ill and suffer great physical pain every day it hinders me from doing the things I use to do. I was a great friend to others especially when I could do things for them, but that has changed and my friends are few and fewer. How can you help me?

I am sorry to hear that you experience physical pain every day. So few of us who have no physical pain really understand what that means. It is easy to have friends when you are able “to do” things for and with them. Chronic illness does change that but it does not mean that you cannot have friends. First, to have a friend, you must be a friend. Having many friends is hard to maintain when you are in pain, lack energy, and are not as mobile as you use to be. Ask God to help you find the friends you need right now in your life. It may mean that having one or two friends is enough for now.

You may not be able to do what you used to do for your friends but ask God to help you find new and creative ways to do things for them. For example: Send them special messages via cards during the year; intercede for them in prayer; ask them to share their prayer requests with you. So often I find as I pray for others, there is healing in me. Be honest and share that you can get lonely and would love for your friend to visit with you. Together you can make a plan for when doing something special together outside your home. If that day comes and you are not up to it, make up your mind that you will try to do it at another time. Discussing this ahead of time will help your friend understand. Communication is important whenever you have friendships.

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