Have you ever cared for and loved a person who was ill? No matter how much you try to make it right for them or put a plan in motion so that they will be cared for, they reject it all.
It is hard to explain the emotions that you feel. There is sadness, frustration, anger, and guilt for not truly understanding the changes that are going on in the life of the one that you are caring for. It is so easy to judge them for making every decision difficult until we ourselves are in a situation like they are in. Understanding the depth of their emotional, physical, and spiritual pain is almost impossible even with open communication. I think it is because the one you are caring for does not understand for themselves how to handle what is happening. You can see it in their eyes, fear and frustration are evident. To express to someone what is happening when you are sick can be very difficult.
So what do you do? You ask the Lord for patience, you listen, you pray, and you make an assessment to be sure your loved one is safe and able to continue to do what they want to do. Many of the elderly want to continue to live where they have always lived. Some want to live alone. It is not easy to take them out of their environment where they feel comfortable. There are memories. It is an environment over which they still have some control. The world around them is going at a fast pace. In their home they can control the pace that is comfortable for them. So, out of respect and love, we give them their independence with a watchful eye, reminding them that when they realize that cannot do it their way, we will then have other options to offer them. Hopefully they will be ready to listen to you knowing that you love them.
1 Corinthians 12:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.”