So many people talk about finding the new normal in your life after you’ve had a loss. What is that really supposed to mean? For me, nothing has been normal since my husband died or from any of the other losses I have had to experience. How about you? The American English Collins dictionary tells us, “Something that is normal is usual and ordinary and is what people expect.” The Webster Dictionary says normal means “conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern: characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine.” What I have discovered is that nothing is ordinary, and this new normal is not working for me. No matter how I try to conform to what people expect or try to find a routine, it is impossible. Everything has changed, and what I have discovered is that God is revealing to me that I have a new life, not a new normal.
Everything has changed in my life. This has helped me understand what I am experiencing so I can heal and continue everyday knowing God’s plan for me as an individual. My new life reminds me every day that those loved ones are no longer with me. No more memories to be made, no more conversations, no more days together to celebrate with them, and no more times of prayer. The list goes on. They will always be a part of me as all those memories are held in my heart. I look forward to our home in heaven where we will catch up with each other, sing, praise God, and worship Him together. That is a promise I hold on to. Heaven is a place more wonderful than we can ever begin to imagine. It is a place where joy, beauty, peace, and happiness will never end.
However, I am still here on earth and it is hard, but as I spend time with God, He reminds me that I have a new life. I can make it as I trust Him who created me to take me step by step. I am so glad to have had the opportunity to begin my journey of having a personal relationship with the Lord at the early age of 11 years old. Many years have passed since that day, but He was faithful then and He is faithful now. I am finally getting to understand that I do not need to find a new normal and that this new life can be good. God is with me as I discover what God still has for me to do as I trust Him every step of the way. In Ephesians 2:10 it says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” In this new life, I want to be God’s handiwork to the world. He stills wants to use me, and He wants to use you.
Whatever your loss, a new life is offered to you when you are ready. It will not be normal. It will seem strange at first, but once you decide to let yourself have this new life that God has prepared for you, you are on your way to healing. The first step is to receive healing for your heart. Ezekiel 36:26 says, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” The second step is to receive this new life after loss as a gift from God. Thirdly, step into your new life with courage and confidence. I am here if you want to chat. Contact me at Chaplainliz@scsm.tv or call me at 540-349-5814.